Week of September 16

Matthew's deadline weeks always feel a little extra long, even though this particular deadline fell on September 16, a Monday. He went into the office and claims it was one of his better deadline days. He did work until midnight just to be sure everything went through, and it's always a huge relief when it does and when it's over! While Matthew was working very long Monday hours, I went to the new splash pad in Fort Lupton. I invited Breeanne to come along with her kids and she joined Katey and I there. The splash pad has a very fun area for little kids where the water runs and there isn't much splashing. My kids don't actually like splashy parts, so it was perfect. I felt the prompting multiple times to invite Breeanne and I finally heeded it about an hour before I left the house. I was so please she came and enjoyed being outside with her kiddos. We loved having Aunt Katey there, too! She's Jay's buddy and kindly went with him wherever he wanted her to. She climbed up the big slides and all around with him. Having her there was a huge blessing for me because Hugh's been a little extra clingy and it would have been impossible to please both my boys. We picnicked for lunch and came home for short naps. Caden was playing against Prarie View JV football, so we went to watch. I was only about 3 minutes late and Caden's team had already scored two touchdowns! It ended up being somewhere in the 60's to 0. Caden is the center, and it was fun to be able to watch him and cheer him on! Mike took Jay to the shed with the mowers and golf carts and allowed me to sit and watch. I was full of gratitude for Mike and Jenna on Monday as well as Saturday. They served me by willing to watch my wiggly, energetic Jay, so I could support their boys. I want to support them in what they do, and when I have to do it without Matthew, it's hard. We picked up some food on the way home from the game which made it an easier evening with the boys while Matthew was working. 

Hugh and Jay filling the bucket

Hugh and Hope!

Hugh venturing to the splash area and enjoying it a little bit.

Caden, Jay, Hugh, and Me

Matthew had a busy week besides it being a deadline Monday. He went to a happy hour at work on Tuesday to celebrate being done with busy season and his return to America. He had dinner with a co-worker who no longer works with KPMG on Wednesday. And, Thursday he had a dentist appointment in the morning and EQ golf activity in the evening. We were very grateful when Thursday came and he had the rest of the week off. Thursday and Saturday were filled with lawn care and random to-do's around the house. I have been wanting to put a new towel rack into the boys bathroom and the basement bathroom for a while and I finally got around to it with Matthew's extra hands to help with the boys. I love how they turned out and they are so much better than what we had! It's odd how a little thing like a towel rack can make a home feel more homey, but it does. Matthew's always the best at washing dishes and Hugh decided he wanted to help recently, which is so cute! Also with a little extra time on our days without Matthew working, we got to go on walks and enjoy the neighborhood parks at sunset. 

Boy's Towel Rack

Basement Towel Rack

Hugh the dish washer and Daddy

Park fun!

To pass our time without Dad, we went on walks, played at the parks, and enjoyed the basement. One evening Jay insisted we eat outside, so I obliged. It was the best decision. After 4 days of dinners as a solo parent, eating outside was magical. The boys loved it, stayed seated, and ate everything. We got our cocoa replacement, one of them was busted again but one was in tact so we got the right amount of cocoa even with the mess again. 

Hugh the driver, who also loves balls!

I built these, and Jay was soooo patient because I made him not touch until I was all the way done. We are trying to work on our skill of respecting other people's creations.

Cocoa! 

Cutie Hugh.

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Hugh driving again! 

Our picnic dinner. 

The biggest event of the week was Friday morning we went to Children's Hospital of Denver for Jay's re-evaluation. When we met the doctor assessing Jay, I immediately knew it was going to be a better experience. She was ready for him! She could handle his energy, she kept Matthew and I both in the room the entire time, and she treated Jay very well. She asked us so many questions which allowed us to share aspects of Jay we hadn't been able to share before and think through so many different aspects of his life and behaviors. Jay often will get stuck on certain phrases or things that are going to happen or have happened in the recent past. He loves suitcases and bags that he can open up and put things in and haul around. He is so expressive with his joy and shows it to Matthew and I regularly. He struggles to follow a gaze or direction someone shows him. He doesn't have any close friends, although he does love his cousins and all of his family. At the end of our three hours of playing and observation, the doctor asked us if we wanted preliminary results or if we wanted to wait until a full debrief session the following week. We wanted to know whatever we could! We were kind of surprised when she said Jay is autistic. Jay doesn't necessarily demonstrate the stereotypical signs of autism, but as she described what she saw and how that demonstrates autism, we learned something new about Autism Spectrum Disorder. Swirls of emotion have been with us for the past week as we've digested this information. When we picked up Hugh from Katey's house, she mentioned we seemed way better than we did last time, even though we just got an autism diagnosis for Jay. She was right! We've spent the last few months wondering about Jay, wondering how to help him, how to find answers to his struggles, and how to understand him better. Knowing he is autistic doesn't change the wonderful, sweet, kind boy we have, it simply gives us a direction to look for how to help him. We may have needed that first appointment to go so horribly we didn't get any diagnosis, so when we got this diagnosis we were ready to accept it and ready to consider what this doctor has in mind for treatment for Jay. We did meet with Dr. Alyssa the following Wednesday after we completed a separate hour assessment for Jay. It was such a long test and we had to fill it out answering for things Jay does without prompting. Matthew and I did it together and this helped the doctor determine Jay is currently Level 2 autism meaning he needs substantial therapies and support right now. She spent 90 minutes with Matthew and I talking about all the things related to Jay, his diagnosis and how we could proceed. We agreed we need to get him into speech and occupational therapy in addition to what he's getting in school because it is so limited. Our insurance won't cover any additional costs which means therapies will be very expensive unless we find other means to cover the cost. She told us there are State funds or County funds we might be able to access, so we're starting our journey of learning about those. We also ordered a book she recommended and will start to learn more about what autism is through that. She was very kind and did a great job answering all of our questions. 

One thing I know is that Jay is a child of a very loving, all-knowing, Father in Heaven. Jay is known and seen by Him. Matthew and I have been entrusted with this little boy who has such a strong spirit and joyful demeaner. He brings light to everyone with his happiness and I want to help him keep that throughout his life! We don't know long term what impacts this diagnosis will have on Jay, but we are going to do everything we can to help him live his best life here in mortality. Someday, when we get to meet him after the Resurrection, when his mortal body is perfected and he has no limitations, I think I will be amazed. He has a special spirit and it's our responsibility now to teach him how to return to his Father in Heaven, and learn from him how to be more like our Savior. I've always felt like kids with disabilities are the strongest spirits, and I don't think Jay is any exception. We have been the beneficiaries of much prayer and fasting already on our journey with Jay, and we have felt the power of God through the faith of others.  

Jay was very disappointed we didn't stay longer at Katey's after his evaluation! A fort and a tractor, what fun! 

Matthew didn't realize this tractor would move and it scared him when Jay took off driving!